I had just walked away from the beautiful pool at the new place. Gorgeous is an understatement. It should be described as over the top stunning. I took a slow, purposeful breath as a litany of things which must come together for this to happen filled my mind. I was heading for full-drive overwhelm when my texting app sounded off and I mindlessly opened it up to see what was going to accost me next.
I believe in you.
I stood there reading and rereading while biting my lower lip. My throat tightened up, not with hurt but in response to the simple, kind statement. It created a torrent of encouraging emotions. Instead of typing a response I whispered out loud.
Thank you.
I would call her later. For the moment I had to get back home. But that encouragement gave me everything I needed to keep at it in the face of some enormous uncertainties. Don't get me wrong. I am not whining. I do not think myself, or this complex endeavor, unique. Life is not easy for anyone. The fallacy that we, as people of faith, are meant to live in some sort of earthly utopia, as a result of being in relationship with the Creator of the universe, has caused more pain than the vilest of sin. Spiritual, emotional, and physical wounds can be healed. Wrong beliefs cause much more lasting damage.
In truth, life is a menagerie of easily doable; too hard to even try; and a million intermediate steps. Pain and joy can both be intense; but life is mainly lived in tug of the two. No one gets a free, always happy, ride. Jesus himself struggled with all kinds of hurt and difficulties a well as tear jerking pleasures. We are no different
But dang, that statement can give some substantial hope to the one who is struggling.
Those are four powerful words.
They are words that change lives, because through them people see that their struggle is a journey of growth not worth. Every single person on earth has intricate and innate value. What we are worth will never change. The struggles we face and overcome are not meant to increase value. It is to help us see more of who we are. That is why the statement hit so hard. It is not about how I need to change or fix or remake myself. Its about my value. The text sender is a long time friend. I knew what she meant.
I believe in you.
I think you are amazing. I think you have some pretty good stuff inside you. I see you as a whole person. I think you are worth my time. I am here for you. I will journey with you. I can help, and I will. I have faith that you are going to get past the bumps of life. I love you. I love who you are. I will sit with you while you figure it out. I will let you be imperfect. I will allow for failures. I will hold your hand in the moments you don’t like, and in the moments you do. I will be here, and I will stay here. You do not have to get it all perfectly right. You don’t have to have the answers. We can walk this thing together. It is ok to not be ok. This thing is temporary, we will get to the end of it. I think you are doing a great job...
When I got home, I set my phone, text still open, beside my computer, along with a fresh cup of hazelnut coffee. Opening my current ‘who we are’ document, I stole a glance at the words again and began reworking the definition.
There are people who believe in me. That reality gives me the courage to go forward with this transition, hard as it can, at times, be. The sheer magnitude of what we are doing is sometimes overwhelming. However, I am not alone. We are walking this thing together.
As long as that is true, I will keep at it
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